Ask Ms. Magnolia

Ms. Magnolia

Dear Ms. Magnolia, My husband and I have two young children. My husband is very critical and abusive. We have fights. He breaks

things, hits me, pulls my hair, and once pushed me down the steps.

I have said that I am leaving sometimes and then he apologizes and gets all lovey dovey. I want to believe he really means it. Leaving would cause so many other problems since I work but don’t have much money.

What should I do?

Lost

Dear Lost, Unfortunately, yours is not an uncommon situation. Tolerating abuse is not a good thing. You should have an emergency plan to ensure your safety and that of your children. You may need to leave suddenly or secretly when he is not there. Teach your children to dial 911 in case of emergency, and alert neighbors to call the police if they suspect danger.

Keep a bag packed at a safe place (maybe at a friend’s house) with essential phone numbers, important legal papers, birth certificates, social

security cards, green cards, bank information, credit cards, and money.

Also keep a bag packed with clothes for you and your children and some toys. Have extra car and house keys hidden outside so you can get away quickly if necessary.

If possible, open a bank account in your own name. Have your mail sent to a post office box or friend's

address. Have a safe place to go (a friend or relative) or contact The Refuge in Vidalia (24-hour crisis hotline 912-538-9935).

Trust your instincts. If you feel you are in danger, you probably are.

Try to get to a safe place immediately.

Letters have been edited for length and clarity.

If you have a question for Ms. Magnolia, please mail it to P.O. Box 669, Vidalia, GA 30475, or e-mail to msmagnoliaadvance@yahoo.com.