Sewing Again

Here we go again. I was sent to the craft store and wandered into the fabric section knowing I would not leave alone. The only reason to go messing around in the fabric section is to come away with one-eighth of a yard of whatever grabs my attention.

When I am required to wear a “cravat,” my go-to is a bow tie, and I prefer those of my own construction. If you’re wearing a bow tie subtly is no advantage.

I was introduced to bow ties by a big city country lawyer who wanted his own “look.” That included bow ties.

He could not get the knot just right, although it is a simple shoe-string knot.

Help came from his wife, Nell, the daughter of an undertaker. She often assisted her father in preparing a body in the best form for viewing. Some wore bow ties.

An undertaker’s daughter taught me to tie a bow tie.

There is a brotherhood of sorts among men who wear bow ties. Often the acknowledgment is a point and nod but can be complicated.

While boarding an airplane, a man pointed to my tie and gave the “Ok” signal. His bow tie was clearly superior to my DIY wrap, but I gained points in telling him I made my own tie.

I scored more points by pulling off my tie and giving it to him.

During the flight, he came to show me he was wearing my home-brewed bow tie. He gave me his tie, and I learned a lot about high end commercial ties by taking it apart.

I am not going to admit to the number of sewing machines in this house. They came from thrift stores at irresistible prices. Women today don’t sew, like their sisters don’t cook anything from scratch.

My go-to machine was a gift to my mother and is more valuable now than when it was new.

The all-metal Singer 500A, “Rocketeer,” was made in Anderson, SC, in the 1960’s.

I will never use all the features of this sewing machine, but I can use it to make bow ties.

My “almost son,” while in college, attended events to promote mingling with young ladies.

I fought without joy to get him to wear bow ties to these events because if the purpose is to meet young women, one should conserve time and effort.

“If you wear a bow tie,” I told him, “make sure it is askew, all messed up. Some young woman in that group will feel compelled to straighten your tie, and that is what we call ‘a candidate.’” He didn’t bite. I’m not an accomplished sewer or sewist and will never will be. I just want to make my bow ties and suffer through Pee Wee Herman jokes.

joenphillips@yahoo.com