Should you say, ‘I do’ to a first look?

The wedding tradition in which couples do not see each other on their wedding day prior to the ceremony has endured. This tradition stems from the era of arranged marriages, when couples were separated to prevent the couple from calling off the wedding if either party was found unattractive or unworthy. Some also felt it was simply bad luck to see each other beforehand.

Modern couples may not be as superstitious, but still ap preciate the element of surprise that waiting to see one’s future spouse allows at the ceremony.

In spite of the endurance of that tradition, many couples now opt for a first look. A first look is a private, scheduled moment before the wedding ceremony when the couple sees one another fully dressed for the first time, says the wedding authority The Knot. It can be a time to pause and reflect during a busy day. Couples can share emotions, reduce nervous feelings and even grab a few portraits before guests arrive. The Knot 2023 Real Weddings Study found that 56 percent of all couples who wed that year decided to go with a first look. However, other couples may be on the fence. Here are some rea- sons to say, "I do" to this evolving tradition, and some reasons why some couples adhere to the more traditional approach.

Pros

The first look can certainly ease pre-wedding nerves. The first look also can be a grounding moment for both people, helping to release any emotions and tears before the ceremony. Since the wedding will be a whirlwind of activity, this quiet moment enables the couple to spend a few uninterrupted minutes together before having to shake hands, hug, pose for photos, and field whatever else comes their way. If the couple wants some intimate photos of just themselves, the first look also can afford them that option.

The first look certainly will break with the tradition of seeing one another at the altar. Mentioning the idea to parents or other family members may leave the couple facing opposition or it may create some animosity or unease. There’s also something extra special about turning to see one’s partner for the first time at the ceremony, surrounded by the collective love of family and friends.

A first look will require the couple to get ready a little earlier to build in extra time for this private moment. If schedules already are jam-packed, this could cause a bit of added stress. There’s also the extra pressure of sharing emotions on camera if a photographer will be present. If tears are shed, then make-up touch-ups could be necessary, further delaying the ceremony.

As with all wedding decisions, the couple must agree regarding a rst look. Tradition may be the way to go if no such agreement can be reached.

Cons