When Muscles Attack

It was 2 a.m. last night, and I was in one of those rare deep, beautiful sleeps, completely dead to the world, when I rolled over and—BAM! A sudden, intense, horrendous pain shot through my leg muscle like a bolt of lightning. It felt like a medieval torture device was being used on my calf.

“No, no, no!” I yelled into the darkness, reaching down and grabbing my leg, desperately trying to work out whatever demon had possessed my calf muscle. I twisted, rolled, flipped over, moaned, groaned, and kneaded the rebellious muscle with my hands as tears began forming in my eyes. My fingers detected a bulged area beneath my skin that felt as round and hard as a golf ball, and I think in my delirium, I actually yelled, “Golf ball!” That’s right—my muscle had literally tied itself into a knot.

In my frantic state, I worked the knot with my hands while trying to flex my calf muscle to end the agony. My husband, sensing through his sleep fog that I was either fighting off a home intruder or being abducted by aliens, finally woke up. He sat up momentarily with fists clenched, ready to join me in defending our household, but seeing that I was merely doing battle with my own body, he fell back into his pillow, whispering, “Oh.”

One or two excruciating minutes passed before the intense pain finally began to subside. Out of breath, I carefully lowered myself back onto the mattress, moving carefully as if I was defusing a bomb, terrified of disturbing the muscle again. For the rest of the night, every time I rolled over or repositioned myself, I woke up wondering if my calf would wage war on me again. And this morning, well, my leg feels like I’ve been kicked by a mule.

What’s so odd about the whole ordeal is that I had a muscle cramp in my other calf earlier this week—same thing, hitting me in the middle of the night like a freight train. That time, my husband didn’t even wake up during the struggle, though the pain and discomfort made every sweat gland in my body fire at once, soaking the sheets on my side of the bed. I haven’t experienced a good old-fashioned muscle cramp—a Charley Horse— like that since I was a teenager playing basketball and running sprints, and now I’ve logged two in the course of one week.

In recent years, I’ll occasionally get a muscle cramp in the arch of my foot when wearing a certain pair of shoes, or in another muscle (my gluteus maximus, to be specific) during a particularly difficult yoga pose called “twisted triangle pose,” but I thought my days of calf muscle cramps were long behind me. Apparently, I was wrong.

We all have had them—the sudden, involuntary, and painful tightening of one or more muscles. Charley Horses can be intense, causing temporary inability to use the affected muscle. The causes are varied: overexertion or overuse of muscles is most common, especially during exercise. Dehydration plays a role too—not having enough fluids can trigger cramps. Electrolyte imbalances from low levels of minerals like potassium, sodium, or calcium are culprits as well. Certain medical conditions, medications, and even pregnancy can increase your risk.

When a cramp strikes, gently stretching the affected muscle is supposed to help it relax, and that’s what I did last night, but it took a long time for the stretching to work its wonders. Massaging the area relieves tension and improves blood flow. Heat can relax the muscle while ice helps with pain and inflammation. Staying hydrated is crucial, especially continued from page

after heavy sweating, and replenishing electrolytes through sports drinks or supplements can help replace lost minerals.

Perhaps my midnight attack happened because I had done some squats with hand weights just before dinner yesterday (I’m trying to rebuild some muscle mass in this old body of mine). Or maybe I’m somewhat dehydrated— it’s been brutally hot here lately, and I’ve been sweating like a marathon runner just walking to the mailbox and back.

Whatever the cause, that cramp got my attention. I suppose the silver lining is that my husband now knows the difference between a muscle cramp and a home invasion. Though honestly, given how violently I was thrashing around, I’m not sure there really is one.