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Ms. Magnolia

Letters have been edited for length and clarity.

Dear Ms. Magnolia,

Our son and his fiancée are gradu ating from Georgia Southern in May and plan to marry in June. So far, we’ve paid all of his tuition and living expenses in college. We’re encouraging him and his future bride to be practical and get their careers started before they marry. We have told them we can't afford to support them finan cially after they are married. They are now mad at us and say we don’t want them to marry. Are we wrong?

BW Dear BW, No, you aren’t wrong. Perhaps you should have encouraged your son to be paying some of his way through college by working part-time and putting some money aside for his future, and he would be more aware of the importance of financial planning.

Your son is actually a grown person now and responsible for his own decisions. Explain that you love him and his future wife and will give them your emotional support and the ben- efit of any wisdom you have gained

over the years to help them, but they are now a well-educated couple who should be able to support themselves. They are adults and need to make adult decisions about their future.

Standing by our children when they follow our good advice is easy, but standing by and encouraging them when they don't is more diffi cult, but often more valuable.

If you have a question for Ms. Magnolia, please mail it to P.O. Box 669, Vidalia, GA 30475, or e-mail to msmagnoliaadvance@yahoo.com.