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News Onion Yoga in the Park Take a deep breath… and sniff responsibly! The City Parks Department invites residents to join Onion Yoga from 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. on Saturday at Riverside Park. Mats, onions, and tears of enlightenment provided. For more info, call (555) 1234567. ...

Think you’ve got the skills to keep multiple onions in the air? Test your dexterity at the Competitive Onion Juggling Contest on Saturday at Town Square from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. Prizes will be awarded to jugglers who can keep their onions airborne the longest without squashing them,or crying too much. Open to all ages. Onions provided onsite. Call (555) 9876543 for details. ...