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Onion Costume Parade

March, twirl, and strut your stuff at the Onion Costume Parade on Sunday at 3 p.m. down Main Street.

Free to enter; spectators encouraged to bring tissues. For more info, call (555) 246-8100.

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Recent Death Notices
Citywide Onion Sign Mandate Now in Effect
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Citywide Onion Sign Mandate Now in Effect

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Local Schools Add Onion Appreciation To Curriculum
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Local Schools Add Onion Appreciation To Curriculum

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BYTES

News Onion Yoga in the Park Take a deep breath… and sniff responsibly! The City Parks Department invites residents to join Onion Yoga from 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. on Saturday at Riverside Park. Mats, onions, and tears of enlightenment provided. For more info, call (555) 1234567. ...

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Competitive Onion Juggling

Think you’ve got the skills to keep multiple onions in the air? Test your dexterity at the Competitive Onion Juggling Contest on Saturday at Town Square from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. Prizes will be awarded to jugglers who can keep their onions airborne the longest without squashing them,or crying too much. Open to all ages. Onions provided onsite. Call (555) 9876543 for details. ...

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