Chickens and Eggs

Cluck, cluck. Washington, KS, is a wonderful, livable place. Like most towns, there is one of every sort of person. Like every small town, they stand out.

The city council recently voted to allow chickens in town. I wonder about some things.

Why is it necessary for the city council to even get involved in it? Chickens have nothing to do with the water or sewer systems and resist helping fill pot holes.

There are already town people secretly keeping chickens and have been for years. Otherwise why do they keep cracked corn in their garage.

The federal and state governments are bad enough about trying to regulate every aspect of our lives then create taxes to make us pay for it.

At issue will be “the details,” such as issuing chicken permits, regulating the number of chickens one might own, the square footage a hen requires for good health and happiness, the heights of their roosts, the minimum number of calories consumed per day, temperature variances in chicken houses, manner and materials of construction of said chicken houses and the “chicken tax.”

This will likely require a “chicken cop” to regulate not only the owners but the hens as well.

It never ends. Or, they could just vote to rescind the ban and leave it alone?

Drive through any small established town and notice the back yards in the oldest neighborhoods. You’ll see small barns from when a town family owned a horse or a milk cow, maybe both, and maybe a small shed for their chickens or pigs.

My hometown had an ordinance against free ranging pigs. The town chose to ignore it since there were so few free ranging pigs. They left it on the books because it was, they said, “cute.”

While watching a recent music awards broadcast, I noticed a well-dressed young lady cuddling her date, I guess, a little pig.

I know the saying that men are pigs, but that doesn’t necessarily work both ways. As far as I know, nothing was said about the pig, who was also pretty well dressed — for a pig.

A fast survey revealed how widely spread communities are on chickens.

Wichita is not the capital of Kansas but thinks it is. They allow up to five chickens, no roosters nor guineas and no chicken tax. Guineas are, in some ways, better to have than chickens.

Topeka is the capital of Kansas and allows an unlimited number of chickens, but they have to be penned at least fifty feet away from a neighbor’s house.

Lawrence is a very liberal city, but a homeowner can have up to twenty chickens, no roosters.

If you live in Los Angeles or Chicago, there is a no limit to the number of chickens you can keep.

I don’t know how recently this data was updated, but it doesn’t matter.

Towns might as well ban eggs because nobody has resolved the dilemma of which came first.

joenphillips@yahoo.com