Flunked the Mayo Test

She can do it. I

can’t. My goal was that Little Miss Phillips would become selfassured and self-reliant.

That would come, I thought, by placing her in situations in which she could succeed and gain self confidence.

After attending a concert, we stopped at a nearby grill. We had BLTs on our minds and ordered a round of the wonderful sandwiches with fries.

After placing our order, the manager informed us that they were out of mayonnaise.

“What do you mean you don’t have mayonnaise?” she asked. “You can MAKE mayonnaise.”

“Not so,” responded the manager so we departed to where they knew how to make mayonnaise.

As students, Tommy and I sat together for the first time in the college dining room.

Before he ate a bite, he reached into his book bag and brought out a small jar of Blue Plate Mayonnaise.

While I dug into my canned corn and mystery meat, Tommy slathered mayonnaise on his green beans, canned corn and meat.

In a moment the amazement passed and the Blue Plate jar was as much a part of meals as a fork.

I chatted with Tommy recently and asked if he still traveled with a jar of mayo, and his response was, “No, I carry mayo packets.”

Mayonnaise has not been around forever. It seems to have emerged in the early 1800’s, maybe in Spain, but became famous for being useful on its own and as a base for other condiments.

We use mayonnaise straight from the jar and as a base for salad dressings and tartar sauce, which is only mayonnaise, finely chopped onion, sugar, a dab of mustard and dill pickle juice.

My mom made mayonnaise with a whisk then in a tall glass with a metal plunger. The plunger sits in a cabinet as an heirloom, but the glass jar dropped from sight long ago.

Mayo is really not complicated. It is a combination of two things that ordinarily would not combine, such as oil and water. In this case mayo is an “emulsion” of egg yoke, oil and some kind of acid such as lemon juice or vinegar.

A local restaurant makes their own version of the classic French condiment “Remoulade Sauce,” but they kick it up to Cajun standards.

LMP makes mayonnaise with an immersion stick blender. I tried making a jar of mayo in the household blender, and it was just an oily mess. It didn’t turn into anything.

When I told LMP that I had flunked the mayo test, she reminded me of the BLTs we didn’t get and ribbed me that making it is so easy a man should be able to do it.

joenphillips@yahoo.com